In these chapters, it becomes clear that one cannot inherit a relationship with God. The fact of Jacob's profound personal experience with God in the previous chapters does not arise from the fact that his father and grandfather had personal experiences with Him. He doesn't become godly because of Isaac, and he doesn't become a perfect father because of it either. Being in God's friendship does not guarantee perfect peace and harmony in life, and in fact often means otherwise. Jacob looks on his sons here in these chapters, mystified by their inability to receive the knowledge and understanding he struggled for. He receives yet again the fruits of his living, of his earlier deceit, as he settles down in the very place his grandfather did upon coming to this land, Shechem.
While there, his daughter Dinah begins to make friends in the area, pagan friends, friends outside her Tribe. Her father has been led safely to this new home but has not, incidentally, done what he promised to God in return for this, and he doesn't really know the people of the area very well. Dinah is allowed to go visit her girlfriends in the area alone, unprotected. It isn't one hundred percent clear here, but she probably already knew the young man Shechem and his father Hamor, and may have actually liked him romantically. Either way, the two had premarital sex (consensual or not), and after this, Shechem tried to sweet talk Dinah. It works whether this was reassuring her after a rape, or whether it was reassuring her of his love and desire to marry her after a consensual tryst. From what I'm told, a common reason women accuse men falsely of rape is the case of a consensual encounter the woman does not wish to admit. It could have been that Dinah got scared of her father's anger and threw out an impulsive false accusation. The words here, "saw", "took", are words reminiscent of previous instances of boldly succumbing to a tempting forbidden fruit, fitting in any of these scenarios.
No matter what the reality of the situation, the reaction to it by Jacob is quickly overtaken by the tidal wave of his sons' opinion. Jacob is reluctant to react, possibly because he knew of feelings she had for Shechem and that this was likely consensual, but he is clear in his opposition to Dinah's union with a local pagan. He waits to discuss things with his sons, not providing leadership but allowing them to take over. Their sense of macho honor demands that they react strongly to this. Hamor and Shechem are relatively honorable men, in their way, and Shechem speaks up for himself, neither blindly subordinate to, nor dominating his father. Jacob's sons have a lot of Dad's craftiness in them, and they plainly take total advantage of Hamor, Shechem, and the entire male population of the town. These brothers take justice into their own hands, not caring that the Just God is the one with the right to judge, and in their "justice, they looted and made themselves more wealthy. Where is their father, who had such a profound experience of mercy and reliance and trust in God? They didn't really bother with what he thought. Shameful, shameful, shameful.
In the wake of all this, Jacob is reminded of his promise to build a house for God at Bethel. The faithful man that he is, he does so, taking even earrings from his family as sacrificial donations to make it even better. He finds protection from the wrath of the surrounding area and peace because he is doing God's will. He continues in his task, even though Deborah, his mother's servant and nurse, probably even more of a mother to Jacob than Rebekah was, passes away and is greatly mourned. Jacob didn't get to see his real mother when she died...so now this surrogate mother also dies, giving Jacob a chance to mourn both. He then recalls God's re-naming him and the encounters he has had with God before. He calls to mind the blessing he was given, an echo of every promise and basic command God has given to mankind before him: Be fruitful and multiply (Adam and Eve), Kings and nations will come from you (Abraham), and this land is yours (Abraham and Isaac). In going back to Bethel and fulfilling his promise, Jacob gets a retrospective of his life, all he has been promised, and all that has been fulfilled in his sight.
On the way to Bethlehem, symbolically fitting as the birthplace of David and Jesus, Rachel bears one more son in a terrible terrible pain, eventually succumbing. Even the hopeful encouragement by the midwife that this is another son is no longer enough for her. It seems to me that the old, son-obsessed Rachel has come to understand, possibly at Bethel watching her husband's example, that there is nothing on earth that could satisfy that longing she has. She spent her entire life trying to bear sons to fill a hole in her soul, much as others make lots of money, buy lots of stuff, take drugs, drink, take risks, etc. She looks at her life as she is dying and understands that God is what fulfills, and that those sons she deemed so precious are what is about to kill her. She is saddened by how cheap and counterfeit it all seems, so she names her son Ben-Oni, son of pain and affliction. Jacob, whose God has begun to fill that longing, changes the name to Benjamin, my right-hand son, good omened son. A son born in affliction and pain will become vitally important Jacob. Jesus later would be a man of suffering, a Ben-Oni, who used that suffering to redeem us and then rise again, becoming a Benjamin, a Son at the right hand of his Father, vitally important to Him.
Jacob gets one last kick-while-down from these sons who do not respect him or care much for him. Like Ham before him, the firstborn Reuben is a loser who believes in his own power above that of his father. Reuben sleeps with Bilhah, who is a surrogate Rachel (as her maid and the one whose children technically belonged to Rachel). He usurps Dad's power by taking his concubine, and makes a stab at his mother's rival and Dad's favorite, now dead and defenseless. Not much is said about this immediately, but Reuben has kept alive the tradition of disappointing and conniving firstborn sons. Jacob at this point is distracted by the need to bury Isaac, but he does not forget what Reuben did to him.
Like Abraham, Jacob has made the conquering tour of Canaan. He goes to Shechem, Bethel, and then Hebron, in the very south, just as Abraham did. He travels over the land promised to him, even though he doesn't own much more of it yet. He and Esau are reunited and also reconciled with their father's memory. The father that divided them by favoritism reunites them at his death.
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